'Twas The Night Before X-mas

I love the holiday season.

My bff and I had Korean food this afternoon and exchanged gifts! (Still lovin' it, thanks!)

My mom roasted a delicious turkey and a ham hock for dinner. Protein for the MEN.

Pie and eggnog galore, paired with A Christmas Story.

Aaron (my mom's bf) gave me a pretty sweet gift: a GPS!! Seriously needed this.

As my brother's creeping through my Facebook tonight:

Keep in mind that he's only a sophomore in high school and doesn't know things.

"Why are people posting pictures of their ghetto dinner? Oh nevermind, this person has a ham."

"You're actually friends with people I don't know, I'm surprised."

"I've never seen this girl in my life. I'm gonna look and see what she's doing."

"Who's myyy-riuh? Is she a singer? She looks like a singer! No wait, she's fake. SO FAKE!"

ALSO, he walks in my room saying he has a gift for me.

He has never gotten me a gift before.

He pulls out this piece of paper, and....it's a Valvoline sticker.

"It's for your car!! It's heavy duty!!"

I tell him thanks and he walks into his room.

HE COMES BACK OUT, holding this carabeener loopy thing.

"Okay, how about this. It holds your water bottle and you can clip it on your pants! All the juggalos have one!"

I don't know where he gets these objects.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Well, I found these little treasures while spending aimless hours on stumbleupon.

I just get so eager on Christmas Eve in hopes that Santa will come that I cannot slumber.

Merry Christmas!!!!!

Kid's say the cutest things. I hope my kids are like this:

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/270O9K/m.funnyordie.com/slideshows/4b071b52a5/distressing-letters-from-kids/

It's funny cause it's true. Well, some of it. Hence, funny:

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/Altr2X/thecareercloset.com/2009/11/21/things-you-learn-in-college/

Feelin' like wearing man-pris and sipping Oolong tea? Promise you haven't heard of half the bands on this list:

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1tlt5M/en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_indie_pop_artists/

You want one? I'm makin'!

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/73pS02/honestlywtf.com/diy/diy-wrap-bracelet/

You don't a gym to be sexaay. This at-home routine burns so good. I've done it before!

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/21k9tB/iowagirleats.com/wpcontent/uploads/2011/11/Fitness.jpg/

How To Be Obscure

This little fashion statement is called the "Turband"

Turban + headband = turband.

You can only do that in the english language.

My brother keeps calling me "Jihad" in reference to terrorists.

My mom said I look like a soldier with a head wound.

Goll...THE WAR IS OVER, FOLKS!

C'mon. Is it that bad?

I bought this satin scarf at H&M for $1.

ONE. POOPIN. DOLLAR. $$$$

Yes, I am planning on wearing this in public.

Try this and love it.

Boys Don't Rate Girls For Funniness

This Christmas season is especially bangin'.

I was lucky enough to be a part of Jessie's Third Annual Ugly Christmas Sweater Party.

I'm super exclusive now!....But I'm not excited or anything; that's too mainstream.

There was a to-die-for dinner and dessert made by Jessie and friends, crafts, games, gift exchanges, and, to our viewing pleasure, "Angus, Thongs, and Full Frontal Snogging."

"Brett is so hot!"

I wish I knew what this was about.

Megan, if you're reading this, I just macked on the shirt you got me for a solid 5 minutes.

With tongue.

Is that weird? Course not. I love it that much. Thanks again!

I had way too much fun.

Jessie is a great hostess.

All the girls were too funny.

I still want to be Emilee.

Feast upon my photos.

Beautiful Jess!

The shirt Megan got me! (The best time to wear a striped sweater.... is all the time.)

Family Photo!

Sooo much love for you guys!

Dedicated to the Sexy Harvard's. Yum.

Cecilia and Daryl Harvard.

I love you guys.

I am so happy you found each other, and that I was able to be there along the way to see your relationship grow.

You two are absolutely great individually and even better together!

I love how much the spirit radiates from you both, and am ever so thankful for the friendship we have made throughout the years!

Temple marriage is an amazing accomplishment in one's life; you guys have set a great example for the rest of us who are single!!

Daryl, don't ever stop doing your one voice!

Cecilia, you're going to be gorgeous forever and I'll just have to get over it! Hahaha :)

May your happiness and love extend to all parts of your life here on earth and thereafter!

Being At Home For the Holidays

Just some strange things that have been running through my peanut of a head.

Something's wrong with my face.

I can't stop breaking out.

Now that Im at home for three weeks, I can isolate myself in my house and put a medley of creams on.

Woe is me.

Aside from the acne, it's just great to be home.

I'm finally eating yummy homemade meals and watching some much needed TV (I live for MTV'S Made and True Life. CLASSIC.)

Can't get over the fact that my mom only has 2% milk in the house now.

Gag. Too creamy.

On the other hand, my pantry looks super cool now.

It's chock-full of organized food.

We have enough mac & cheese and Campbell's soup to last us months in case a freak natural disaster ever occurred.

Right above my brother's bedroom door, there's this gnarly, dead spider.

It's been there for, oh, maybe TWO MONTHS.

He explained to me that he doesn't just kill spiders, he OVER-kills them because he hates them so much. The dead spider is supposed to be a warning to all other spiders.....Goll, what a spazz.

How he reached above his door frame to kill the spider, I don't know.

Why he still hasn't cleaned it up after so long, still don't know.

Will it even come off the wall anymore? It's super crusty. Ew.

American media has issues.

Since when did PG-13 become R, and R become rated XXX.

Too many nudey parts and fudge bombs.

Which are supposed to make amazing movies, no?

There's only so much of Justin Timberlake I wanna see.

Which is mostly NONE of him, since he has Ramen for hair and unattractive everything (right, Miyuki?!)

Guess I'll just watch the Disney Channel the rest of my life.

I just really love cereal.

I had it for breakfast and lunch.

My Cousins Show Me Cool Things

"The Most Offensive Picture in the World."

Monday's Are the Epitome of Suck

You'll never guess...

Today, I broke the shower in my dorm.

It just wouldn't stop dripping!!

Chinese water torture, I tell ya.

So I yanked the handle as far as it would go.

Not only is the shower handle broken, but the shower is....still....dripping.

Yes, my roommates did laugh their heads off, and yes, they secretly despise me because now they can't shower until it's fixed.

Forgiveness would be awesome, thanks.

Lemme Borrow Some Sweats

Have you ever wanted to listen to The Cranberries, search Nacho Libre quotes online, and just laugh to yourself alone in your room?

"I ate some bugs, I ate some grass, I used my hand, to wipe my tears."

"Beneath the clothes, we find a man...and beneath the man, we find his....nucleus."

Ha. haha. Ha.

One more week of finals left and I am home for three weeks!

I am so excited, I can't concentrate for more than 10 minutes at a time.

I'll say that I need a "break" from studying and all of a sudden it's taken me an hour to eat a snack and then somehow I'm searching Nacho Libre quotes.

Aside from studying, today was great.

I actually received my patriarchal blessing early!

It was sicky sick.

But you know what I hate?

That I'm so....sensitive.

I get all red-faced and misty-eyed over things. Ridiculous things, mostly.

Whether it's puppies, beautiful sunsets, the Notebook, the doctors, public speaking, when I'm nervous, scared, embarrassed, uncomfortable...etc. Hahaha.

So of course, I brought the water works today when I was asked to share my testimony.

"Blublublublub JESUS CHRIST blublublublub I, I, I blubberblubbering He's just so COOL waaahh."

Okay, it didn't really sound like that. But pretty close.

Goll, I'm so weird.

Awesome day, regardless.

So, last night, while I was supposed to be studying, I put these nail stickers on.

It took me 30 minutes, when I could have painted them in five -_-

I got this idea to paint a coat of colored nail polish over them, so you can still see the design through. Haven't done it yet, but I'll let you know if it works!

Don't Touch Me, I'm Sterile.

I took a $400 CNA course over the summer.

After coming to the conclusion that I wasn't built for cleaning bums and feeding pudding to toothless elders (Preposterous!! I thought everyone liked that?!), I don't think I can manage taking the final exam.

I fight with myself daily. It keeps me up at night. Am I going to do this or not?

The permission form is in the envelope, ready to be mailed.

$70 in my checking account, waiting to pay for the exam fee.

It's been 5 months since I took the course. The 6th month is the deadline. Its crunch time.

I don't plan on ever being a CNA now, so what good is the license for?

Do I remember anything I learned? I only recall the gory visuals having to do with bedsores and STD'S.

If I don't take it, it will have been a big waste of money and time.

If I fail it, it will be more waste of money and time.

If I pass it, my license is going to gather dust.

I called my dad, pleading for guidance.

"Well Karen, you're gonna have to make the decision."

You'd think he had wisdom or something.

Well, in meantime.

Why study for finals when you can look at this?

http://kimjongillookingatthings.tumblr.com/

Thanks, cousin Marci, for exposing me to this wonderful thing.

Reflections On Myself. Yeah, Like Mulan. But the Christina Aguilera Version

There have been many firsts in the past month.

So many of which regarding church and progress with my spirituality; I just feel so compelled to share with you guys.

Today, I fasted for the full amount for the first time EVER. Gold star, please.

What is so amazing is that I do not feel hungry or sick, and I didn't even pass the heck out like I was so worried that I would. This experience is proof to me that Heavenly Father lives and that He will help you overcome anything when you pray and strive to be a better person.

I was also able to be a visiting teacher for the first time last month. It's such a great feeling to know that you are the person someone can come to when they're struggling or even when they want someone to share happiness with. I am thankful for the kind, sweet girls I visit teach.

Since I didn't share my testimony in church today, or with anyone ever before for that matter, I feel now's a good time, eh? It's like I'm telling you a secret. (Remember those commercials for those electronic diaries where you have to push a button and say a password, like "Boys drool." and your little brother would try to break into it, but he'd rather use force than say a password? Boys are kinda dumb.)

So, let's be serious, guys. For like, two seconds.

YOU, JESSIE WITH THE FACE! Serious time!

Okay.

Ready?

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the raddest and truest church on this earth. I have witnessed many of the blessings you will receive when you keep the Gospel in your life and I know I wouldn't have been able to experience these things if I had continued being inactive. I know that I will see my wonderful grandma, and all my family, again someday and that our death on earth is only just the beginning of our eternal life. I love the power of repentance and it's necessity to the church. I'm grateful for all the friends I've met who have shared their testimonies with me and have answered all my questions; they never made me feel silly or not good enough; they were the little missionaries who gave me strength to go back to church. I know that the atonement is REAL and that amazing things WILL happen when you hold fast to the path Heavenly Father has prepared for you. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Now, for the last first of this post:

I went on a date with a BYU boy.

Who is very opinionated.

And likes lizards.

Seriously, his family has a reptile business. Which is cool for him and all. But It irks me.

My good friends Cec and Daryl were kind enough to set me up on a date with this guy who I met at our bulgogi party a while ago (in a previous post). I thought he was a hunk.

Is it weird that he was wearing the exact same outfit that I first saw him in? Maybe a lot of boys do that? I wouldn't know since I go on a date once every other blue moon.

We went to Subway for dinner and then saw the movie "In Time," which had it's funny moments.

There was a scene where Amanda Seyfriend and her sassy bob was telling her lover, Justin Timberlake, that their time was almost up:

"What do we do now?"

One of the guys sitting in front of us whispered, "Let's make-out."

And Lo and behold, the actors made out.

So funny.

Is it sad that that was the best part of my night?

Fluffy, Not Fat

A few weeks ago I had to take a health evaluation for my nutrition class.

My roommate's trippin' cause we have the same percent body fat.

Should this be a big deal? No, it should not be a big deal.

She looks at me weird now.

While in the cafeteria tonight:

"I just don't get how we have the same amount of fat. I mean, I work out so hard and eat so heathy, and you don't work out hard and eat dessert everyday."

In my mind, "...is she calling me fat? What a dou....oh, they have a dessert table tonight!"

While shoveling pecan pie in my face, "Yeah. So weird."

I guess Jillian Michaels doesn't have any advice for that one, sugarlumps. Bummer.

It's funny how much my pie tasted like KARMA washed down with some ice cold WHAT, WHAAAT.

Anywhoser, the date for my patriarchal blessing has been set for January 7th!

I am so excited!! But it's unfortunate that I can't bring my good friends :( The Patriarch said the room was too small. So.... exclusive people only aka the Patriarch, his wife, and my parents.

I don't know what this has to do with my post. I'm just in love with these people.

Distance Is What You Make It

Most of the time, my post titles have nothing to do with anything.

But today, song lyrics have a purpose.

Don't get me wrong, we all know those people who post song lyrics on Facebook:

"He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar;;;; <3<3<3"

OH GAAHHHHH, then you're all annoyed that you added that person in the first place, so you delete them so they won't crap up your news feed anymore.

Or at least that's what I would do.

I just wanted to express my flaming love for music, mixed CD's, playlists, etc etc.

Make me a mix and I will shower you with love.

Introduce me to a new song or band and I will personally deliver a cheese quesodilla to your home .

Take me to a concert and I will fold your socks for a month.

Don't like these trade-offs? Too bad. I'm in college. That's all I got.

So, here's a slice of my soul.

Play it in the morning while you get ready.

While you lovingly make your oatmeal.

Or while you karate chop your roommate in her sleep.

Maybe something will catch your ear.

Like Nailing Jelly to a Tree

Has anyone else noticed that Netflix online is completely worthless?

I typed in all movies of interest that came out within the last 20 years and not a single one is available to watch online. Blasted, DVD only.

Only movies from the 60's are available online. Are 60's movies good? No one cares.

This is not service with a smile. I want to stream. STREEEEEEEEAM.

S T R E A M.

Obviously I'm still in Ely, and there still is nothing to do except eat.

I did run 3 miles this morning in preparation to eat some more.

Things I've discovered:

"Santa Clause is Coming to Town" is the scariest christmas song ever.

You will never get the butt you want by sitting on the butt you have.

Nevada weather is excellent. It's so dry here that I haven't had to wash my hair in 3 days.

Furthermore:

"Dad, I want to go to fashion school."

"No."

Now I will become a closet designer and make obscure, unwearable things because my father never let my potential talent blossom.

You inspire me, Emilee Rose Dyer.

However, I've been feeling extremely crafty since I've been here and have been getting my Christmas ideas and gifts together.

Wrap your weave around THIS:

Homemade Christmas cards and crafts made by my own bare hands.

Creepy? Not creepy. My hands are golden.

It's a good season to be on Karen's nice list.

I was thinking about making some headbands and maybe pillows also. Too many things! My hipster friend Leah gave me the idea to make these. She's so funny; we were helping to make dinner the previous night and she informed me that chopping cilantro is referred to as "Shammanah-ing the cilantro."

I'll take her word for it. Shammanah.

P.S. I love not having school.

Well...At Least I Have The Turkey Trot

This is me in Ely, Nevada.

Population: My relatives and the biker gangs who frequent Hotel Nevada.

Party party partaay.

This is our Thanksgiving getaway.

I come for the 10 pies, homemade rolls, and to keep the good times rolling.

My belly rolls start rolling...what?

Except that this year, my dad has invited his lady-friend...cringe.

No, Cringe is not her name, but I wish it was. I'd feel better about myself.

I haven't met her yet. But now I not only will get to meet her; I'll basically be living with her for two days. My aunt is making her her very own pilgrim table name card.

What's the big whoopty poopty?

This is weird. It's like she's already part of the family. They've been dating for 3 months.

I keep telling myself that I'll just run my feelings away at the little 5k Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving day.

So fast. Running. Fists punching the air. Lungs crippling. Face in pure agony. I'm lightning.

I'll collapse on the finish line, first place of course, collect my winnings, spray gatorade on the crowd of bikers that came to support. I disappear into the wilderness, punch grizzlies and eat berries like I learned from Survivorman. Happy Thanksgiving to me.

But more importantly, Happy Thanksgiving to you!

You A-sian, Not B-sian

Sometimes my little brother says funny things, like the title of this post, which reminds me how much I suck in college.

Or his alternative to the mess-with-the-bull metaphor, "Mess with the lizard and.....it runs."

Or how he calls my dad by his first name just to get tackled.

Or how fondly he speaks of World of Warcraft, "Karen, look at my sick guild."

Sometimes I miss him.

Sometimes I wish I had photos of him to show you.

He's kind of a mystery.

This weekend was a treat.

I went to my first ever bridal shower and it was ILL.

Cecilia's little sister was so sweet to have helped put together this party for her.

Homemade spinach dip, cream puffs, cookies, and seven layer bean dip. YUM.

Silly "naughty" games and gift giving. YUMMIER.

This shin-dig was definitely one for the books.

Congratulations, Cec!

You know what?

Mondays are awful.

You know what else?

I have a pair of vintage grandma loafers and missionary mail waiting for me at home.

Oh sweet aunt jemima.

My Life in a Box

Today, I was feeling crazy.

So I bought a pack of cinnamon gum.

It's way too spicy.

I'm so edgy and wild.

I make it through the week with the knowledge that my weekends will be to die for.

And yes, they usually are.

Last weekend I went down to Orem to fiesta with some of my muchachos.

My good friend Cecilia Warner is getting married and her fiancé was nice enough to hold a dinner party at his house in honor of her birthday. We had traditional Bulgogi, which is a Korean dish created by heavenly meat angels. We set up a fire outside and put a metal rack over it; then we grilled strips of beef and veggies on it while sitting on logs. I felt like a caveman, it was the greatest feeling ever. Minus the fact that we were getting snowed on. Where was my Mammoth pelt when I needed it?

Ben asked if I wanted any grilled pineapple.

My brain combined, "Pineapple makes me sick," with "Pineapples are gross," to create "Pineapple makes me gross."

PINEAPPLE MAKES ME GROSS?! With what, diarrhea? What's wrong with me.

The next day Miyuki-chan and I went thrifting about and found some deals.

DI is the best place to find ugly christmas sweaters and other strange things.

I bought a 4 dollar skirt. Super cute and vintage. Washed it 3 times. Still smells like thrift.

It's a cultural experience.

Food on the pit! There's the pineapple.

Cecilia!! So brown and so beautiful!

Me and Miyuki. D'awwwhhh.

Getting A's vs. Kicking A's

I failed another chemistry test.

At least I didn't cry this time....definitely did not cry....as much.

You know those kids who screw up the curve by getting 95% and don't let you forget it?

They're the ones who still wear sparkly Sketcher sneakers and those clever "I love Science, b*****s" T-shirts with elastic-waisted pants and strange anime hair; the people who like to look at pictures of medieval weaponry for fun. Does it sound like I'm hating?....Cause I admit I'm a little bitter. I was not born with the mental capacity to calculate scientific data with grace and agility like these students. It's a very messy process for me. Like giving birth to scientific results in the woods.

I overheard a classmate once: "What I lack in social skills, I make up for with science." Poor soul.

How was your guys' Halloween?

Crimson Night was scandalous, as usual.

I guess in college, wearing things that don't expose enough of your hoohoomachachas and skippywangles is socially unacceptable.

However, I did manage to have a great time with my friends this last weekend. I love Salt Lake City and the people I meet here.

Nobody Better Pinch Me

Allow me to elaborate on how great Sundays are in college:

-Despite waking up at the butt crack of dawn, I actually look forward to going to church to see my buds and creep on hot boys...well, as hot as Mormon boys get. YOU, Mr. hipster with the skinny jeans that accentuate your chicken legs, you are such a hottie hot hottie.

-Student speakers are either really good or they make you feel really uncomfortable (A Philipino who is emo = Philipemo?) I feed off this stuff.

-Having post-church brunch with aforementioned buds. The food is just a little bit better when you're with them, I tell ya.

-"Family" dinner with my little loved ones. Cooking chicken aka "Messy Face" in the mini kitchen with no supplies. It's like primitive living with good laughs.

-Random conversations in the laundry room with the boys next door.

-Studying. Just kidding that was probably only funny to me.

On a side note, I went to the Speed Skating World Cup with my momma this Saturday. Speed skating is actually super fun to watch in real life. They have very muscular butts; don't act like you wouldn't look.

It's Just Like The Present to be Showing Up Like This

Thoughts as of late ~
You'll always have to make decisions in your life; that's a given.
I am coming to the decision-crossroad of choosing a career path.
I have set myself up for Physical Therapy school, but my heart lies within Fashion Merchandising.
Why not go with what my heart desires?
Listen, and I will yak.
The most legitimate and noteworthy fashion schools are in NYC, California, the UK; all places which are outlandish, pricey, and not in Utah where my tuition is free and my parents are near.
How realistic and stable is it to have a career in fashion?
I admit that I got inspired in fashion from watching The Hills. That's real life, guys.

I will learn to love physical therapy.
Lord so help me.

In love with these: http://sandrasuy.com/

Fancy Seeing You Here

This is a new portion of my life called adulthood(ha!), or COLLEGE (more ha!). It deserves a new blog.

Get yourselves caught up with my old news on Home Is Right Out Your Window.